TV Review: Undercover Boss – Hooters

UNDERCOVER BOOBS (ER…BOSS): HOOTERS REVIEW

Undercover Boss returned again this week with another mission: this time, the CEO of Hooters went undercover to see how his company REALLY works. Like, for instance…what’s all this about busty girls serving food? Is that true? In any other line of work, some old guy going to check out the young honeys wouldn’t be so noble. But Undercover Boss promises that the head honchos are gonna learn something from the little people.

So the Head Hooter goes undercover. Talk about missed opportunities! Most of the time, it’s so easy to get people on TV to dress in drag. But the one time when we really could use someone dressed up in drag as an Ugly Hooters Girl, we don’t get it. This should’ve been as good as “Some Like It Hot.” “Hazel” (that’s my fake waitress name of choice for my imaginary episode) serves some hot-to-trot Moneybucks who is undeterred by the fact that his advances aren’t working. Then, over a series of meals, “Hazel” is won over by this rich old guy and they end up getting married!

Instead of that charming scenario, we get a non-drag fake worker named “Scottie.” And “Scottie” doesn’t even try to pass himself off as a woman. It’s a bummer. Instead of me telling you all the deets, let’s predict ups and downs of “Undercover Boss” this week. Whaddayathink:

Is this CEO good at kitchen work?
Are the Hooters girls treated well?
Does anyone find the Hooters concept offensive?
Is a manager named Jimbo a particularly effective manager?

There ARE some crazy things going on here in the middle of this predictability. If I told you that Jimbo had something to do with it, would you be surprised? Well he did!

When “Scottie” is undercover as Jimbo’s assistant manager, Jimbo makes some of the Hooters girls scarf down plates of beans, no hands allowed, in a contest to be taken off shift first. That’s pretty nasty. There’s some question if the tubby Jimbo sees ingesting a plate of beans as such a big deal, but I bet he uses at least a fork. Weirdly, Jimbo calls this bean-eating contest his “reindeer games.” Something about beans and reindeers doesn’t make sense.

At the end of the episode, it is time for the CEO to share his newfound insights with his advisors. Hooters, more than other companies, offers a real opportunity for ground-breaking change. I mean: Hooters’ whole premise is to dress girls in skimpy outfits and get drunken oglers to eat wings. So it could’ve been that “Scottie” would’ve seen the light. “Huh, what would make a lout like Jimbo treat women badly in a Hooters restaurant. It’s like he didn’t respect them and yet they are people like anyone. I mean, they all wear a tight shirt and short shorts but -OH WAIT.”

But Scottie doesn’t seem to be the big-insight type. His solution to the Dress-Women-Up-Like-Floozies/Respect Problem is to propose a public education marketing plan: Hooters Girls Are People Too. Yeah, we know! But do you?

Jimbo is raked over the coals, one overworked manager gets a vacation, another a donation to a cause he likes. But where’s the systemic change? Is the point of this show to show how hard the Little Guy works? Or to show how the Big Guy can help change things for the Little Guy?

I’ve worked a couple of bad little jobs. I’m not surprised by the characters we find here: Bullies, Overworked Managers Who Care, Abused Waitresses. But a show needs surprises. Doesn’t anyone at CBS have the vision to put Scottie in drag and make a millionaire fall in love with him over nachos?

CBS could have a hit on its hands, but it needs Something Big To Happen. Next week’s episode about 7-11 better result in the store being changed to the more humane 9:30-6:30!